Subject Line

Do you ever go to start an email and get the subject line and just freeze. I do it often. If I have a purpose other than just catching up or saying "hi" it is no problem. But if I just want to send an email to a friend and share something cool I am doomed to the subject line "hi."
From: myemail@hotmail
Subject: HI
or
Subject: hey
Sometimes I try to be creative and "fun" but I feel like I come off looking like a dork.
Subject: The red turtle flies at midnight.
Subject: The grass could be greener.
For now, I'm going to leave the subject line blank. I don't need the pressure.

My cell phone.

I want to throw my phone out the window. No I don't. It is my lifeline, but it connects me to the good AND the bad! I love it when my friends call, I HATE it when people who want money call. Can I have the phone learn to ignore and not even notify me when people I don't want to talk to call?

Clarity

I've had some bad days this week...definitly in the "bottom" 10. More on that later. For now, go right to Baby Reece's blog and read it. God is faithful even in th storm.

Product Plug

I know it is still 70 plus degrees out, but I know it is officially heading towards fall because the kids had colds and now I have a cold. Whoopie!

However, let me tell you about my latest discovery (and if y'all knew about this before and didn't tell me...shame on you). Puffs...plus lotion...PLUS VICKS! It's a little unnerving at first. You think "a tissue shouldn't smell like that!" But then you realize that in order to smell it, you had to breathe. And if you can breathe, you know it, it works!

Even better--you don't have to smear greasy stuff on yourself. Or maybe you like that. Who am I to judge?

***Melinda is not being paid for this endorsement because for some reason, 40 readers aren't enough for Puffs to fork over the big money***

Do Not Vote

The following is a letter to the editor of the Mail Tribune published on October 20, 2008. I thought it was quite apt.

Do Not Vote
Let me pass on a bad rumor to you. You probably hear this one each election season. It goes like this: Everyone should participate and vote in our elections. This rumor is repeated so often that many of us have come to believe it is true.
Good government flows from the combined wisdom and intelligence of informed voters. If you are reading this letter in the back page of the newspaper, you are probably one of these smart voters. Efforts to increase the raw number of voters actually harm the quality of our government. We should not encourage apathetic, ill-informed people to dilute our measured judgments.
Elected officials spend staggering amounts of money each year just to get the attention of voters who are too busy to watch debates, attend events, or read intelligent reporting. How many inane political ads have you seen so far this year? Candidates successfully pander to the shallow voter with odd tax schemes, catch-phrases, and personal stories. Casual voters prefer charismatic candidates who are like them. Instead, we should elect upstanding, experienced, and exceptional people.
Voting is not cool. The vote does not rock. Please do not vote. — Jason Spies, Medford

Oh the Places We Go

This was the fourth weekend in a row of being out of town for at least part of the weekend. We were in Portland for the Run Like Hell half-marathon. Next weekend, I GET TO STAY HOME! Jason is going on a retreat, but I'll be home.

I had been looking forward to this trip for awhile. The kids would stay in Eugene with my parents and it would just be Jason and me. Last year we had a great time together, so I really had my hopes up for the weekend. About a week ago, Jason wasn't sure if he would run. He has been running on an injury for awhile and it seemed to really be hurting him. Selfishly (because I wanted the weekend in Portland), I pushed him towards running and praise God, he did really well in the race despite the injury. We are also low on money (who isn't) but decided to go anyway. Cheap hotel, cheap food, free baby/dog-sitting = acceptable expense.

We drove up on Friday and were pleasantly surprised by the hotel. It was actually quite nice. Saturday morning we slept late, had breakfast and were on our way to go pick up the registration packet for Sunday's race and as Jason walked around the car to get in I heard "uh-oh." Our back corner window was smashed. Again, PRAISE GOD, we did not have anything of real value in the car but the violation of theft hits deep in one's soul. Our easy, relaxing morning became phone calls to insurance, glass repair, police, hotel managers and expedia people. From there we had to track down some way to cover the window (it won't be fixed until tomorrow). Our "morning" plans didn't start until afternoon so being a mental plan person, I felt off all day.

Everyone was as helpful as they could be. The hotel agreed to comp our room and even though insurance can't help with payment because it is under the deductable they were helpful in getting the repair set up. The event cast a shadow over my weekend. We continued our plans and had a nice time together. That afternoon we had agreed that Jason would nap/football at the hotel while I went to IKEA. I can spend hours at that store, but in my current state I could barely get through the short list of things I had come prepared to buy. I had a total meltdown in the warehouse section. I went back to my car to bawl in private for about an hour, then I went back to the hotel and crashed.

The bright spot of the weekend was taking Jason to Uptown Billiards. Stacie and I had been there on our trip to Portland in March and I couldn't wait to show it off to Jason. He enjoyed it as much as I had hoped he would. Sunday's race was great for Jason, but I never really was able to shake the shadow.

God knew all this would happen. He knew about the break-in. He knew that would send me over the emotional edge where I've been residing lately. I think He was trying to tell me not to go...but I blatantly ignored Him. I know I will pay more attention in the future. Everything has a spiritual aspect to it and when I ignore that, things tend to crumble around me. Remember, Melinda, Remember!

Anxiety & Thanksgiving

I went to the Women of Faith conference last weekend. I had a wonderful time with my friends and enjoyed the speakers very much.

The highlight for me was just a short snippet of what Jan Silvious said on Friday. Apparently recent brain mapping research has shown that anxiety and gratitude can not physically exist simultaneously in the brain. Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." It really is true! Not just in a spiritual realm, but in the physical world. With thanksgiving on your brain, anxiety disappears.

This is my cry this week, "THANK YOU LORD THANK YOU LORD THANK YOU LORD." I am finding the smallest things to be grateful for because my anxiety is enormous! So, what are you thankful for? What are you clinging to in order to ward off the anxiety of life?

Did you see?

I'm a semi-closeted Grey's fan. And thanks to the wonders of DVR, I was able to watch the two-hour season opener yesterday afternoon. Did you all see the first few minutes? I won't be a spoiler, but can I just say my heart almost stopped! Outrage, sadness....real tears (granted I was going on maybe 3 hours of sleep). I think I cry during every single episode.

In Weakness

I got to thinking about friendship this evening. One of my dearest friends and I had a great evening together catching up on all the stuff that you can't really discuss in a larger group setting. As we were talking I realized that I don't count her as a dear friend because she is shiny happy or because she's got it together, but rather because she doesn't.

In fact the friends who are truest, most trustworthy, my real go-to friends, are the ones who aren't afraid to let it all hang out. Maybe I am intimidated by those who've got their stuff together. Maybe I don't believe it is possible and my fake-o-meter starts spinning round.

I met my best friend in high school only because of her dorky vulnerability. She was walking around asking everyone to "be my friend." How can you say no to that?

It is much the same with Christ. In our weakness, he is strong. Isn't that wonderful! I certainly have plenty of weakness. I believe though, we must show some of that same vulnerability. Jesus save me. Be my friend. I need YOU.

Baby Reece

Please note the new link on my blog list. This is an amazing family I have come to be acquainted with through my friend Stacie. I won't try to explain their story, but please check out their blog and send your prayers as they face daily challenges most of us can't even imagine.

What does it mean?

How do you know the difference between a trial and a call to quit. In recent years I've been more willing to face trials because I have seen first hand how they help develop perseverance in my life. But this time things are harder, much harder.

Is God telling me to give up? I mean, He's the one who put me here in the first place. Did He intend it only for a season? God has still been faithful to meet the most critical of needs as they arise, but the big picture is looking more and more bleak. Maybe this the "big one." You know, that once in a lifetime trial that results in a passion for Christ beyond your wildest imagination.

I can't believe anymore that things just happen. God is the master orchestrator of life. He knew at the creation of the universe that today, September 22 at 11:36 am I would be wrestling with this AND he knew I would be chewing wintermint gum. HE KNOWS. He knows I am struggling with this. He knows I want answers. I know I'll get them...I just don't know when!

Found Her

Day 3 of 5...I'm on track so far! This, by the way, was my inspiration for catching up. I found Susan. In all honesty, she found me. For all the cyber-bullying, child-stalking and pornographic nonsence that is perpetuated on Facebook and MySpace, I will tell you this: These sites have made me a better person. Ok, that was too extreme. They have allowed me to be more like the person I want to be.

I've said it before. I want to be a good friend. I just get really lazy. These sites keep me in contact with my friends through status updates, birthday reminders, and just little notes(comments) here and there about what is going on. Very few people have the time to do 16 phone calls (or even emails) a week to say, "I'm feeling mopey." But through the wonders of social networking I can share that with people I know and they can respond as they are able. No pressure, no guilt.

So, Susan, thanks for adding me as your friend. This is how excited that made me--I've already told everyone I've been in contact with since Wednesday (including my students) how excited I am to know you again. Cheesy? Well, you already knew that about me.

High School Students

I love high school students. I love their energy and enthusiasm. I love the malleability and I enjoy being someone who they can talk to like they should be talking with their parents, but there is no way they will. I am one of the few who came through high school unscathed by the "coming of age" phenomenon. I like being able to proclaim--yes you can get through high school without smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, and all that other crap that is so attractive to that age group.

So when I noticed God guiding and then eventually shoving me towards High School Ministry again, I was happy to respond. Then I was handed the application. I've filled out many a ministry application before. Different from a job application it asks questions like "Briefly describe how you came to know Jesus as you Savior." (Typo was intentional on my part, probably not on the part of whoever created the application). Then there are three and one-half lines on which to write the answer. How do you answer a question like that in 3 lines?

If that wasn't enough it is followed by a checklist of youth-related leadership roles you are supposed to check and explain your involvement in. OK--I've done youth ministry since I was 14 and now I'm a teacher. Hmmm. Let's see if I can fit over half my life onto...wait for it...2 1/2 lines.

Then we get to fun questions. "List any general skills, natural talents, spiritual gifts, or special abilities you possess." ARGHHH "What do you consider your strengths?" "What do you consider your weaknesses?" These I find much easier to answer briefly; I prefer not to answer at all! I find it difficult to naturally answer these questions without sounding cocky or artificially humble.

"Briefly explain why you desire to be a part of the youth staff at TRF." "Explain your preference for the age group you are interested in working with." OK--weeding out crazy people. I get it.

"Briefly summarize how you came to know Jesus Christ as your savior and what your faith means to you." Followed shortly by "How do you maintain a growing relationship with the Lord?" Again 3 lines per question!

One's faith is difficult to summarize. On Tuesday, I watched as the first "tour" of Focus on the Family's "Truth Project" spent over one hour just to say Truth=God. But it truly takes time to explain the why and the how of my faith journey and what that looks like and how that may have changed in the past weeks, months, years... If it is such a struggle for me to briefly answer these fundamental questions about my faith which I have lived by virtually all my life, it is no wonder that people struggle to comprehend and accept the truth after a short conversation on a plane.

Procrastination

Maybe you do this too. Oftentimes, I wake up and get the kids going in time to have some time to myself. I think "Oh, I should write that blog entry I was thinking about yesterday." Inevitably that's when the cereal spills or the crisis call from work happens and of course blogging is WAY down on the priority list, so it gets put off.

That's all well and good, but now that I have some uninterupted computer time I have lots that I want to share. So (because when I get behind in anything the only way I can catch up is if I have a system) I am going to attempt to catch up in chronological order. One entry a day for the next 5 days. I just ask that you limit any judgement if I fail, which I probably will.

First--the chicken recipe.

Our family ate at the Bella a few weeks back and one of the specials was called "Chicken Frescada." (I think). I ordered it and enjoyed it greatly. However my mother's genes reared their head and screamed into my mind "YOU CAN MAKE THIS AT HOME FOR SO MUCH LESS MONEY." We didn't eat out much as kids with the exception of occasional Taco Bell, Chinese Food on billing days and KFC when mom was sick.

So I made it at home. My garden is overflowing with tomatoes and basil, so most everything I am cooking right now has a bit of each. AND in case you haven't heard. Plant your basil and tomatoes right next to eachother. The basil wards off bugs. My tomatoes are completely pest free this year, which is more than I can say for the squash.

Chicken Frescada

Boneless skinless chicken (I like chicken tenders instead of breasts--thinner so quicker to cook)
Flour
Various Italian Seasonings
Olive Oil

Garlic
Diced Tomatoes (canned or peeled and seeded fresh)
Fresh chopped basil
Sliced Olives
Mozzarella
Pasta (For this I like penne)

Heat olive oil in pan over med-high heat. Mix flour and your favorite dried Italian Seasonings (I like 2 parts basil, 1 part marjorim, 1 pt oregano). Coat and shake off chicken and brown in pan. Set aside.

Crush and saute garlic in more olive oil then add tomatoes and basil. (And salt to taste if you use it). Cook just until basil is well wilted. Add olives and heat through.

To serve layer the pasta, chicken and tomato mixture. Top with sliced mozzarella and melt cheese briefly under broiler.

This could just as easily be served without the pasta. Very easy.

Another picture of Madeline!

Chocolate Cake

When I was first starting to blog, I was much more methodical about the process. I would jot down ideas and occasionally even start to develop them. One that didn't quite make the cut was about the Betty Crocker microwavable "warm-delight" cakes. I started it, but it quickly degenerated into women's issues with food (kinda boring) so I'll just summarize my point--Yum.

So today when I got the following email, I was reminded of this entry that never came to fruition and just decided to pass this recipe on in blog format instead of another email forward (not that I have a problem with that).

DANGEROUS CHOCOLATE CAKE-IN-A-MUG

1 coffee mug
4 Tbsp. cake flour (plain, not self-rising)
4 Tbsp. sugar
2 Tbsp. cocoa
1 egg
3 Tbsp. milk
3 Tbsp. oil
Small splash of vanilla
3 Tbsp. chocolate chips, optional

Add dry ingredients to mug, mix well with a fork.
Add egg, mix thoroughly.
Pour in milk and oil and vanilla, mix well.
Add chips, if using.
Put mug in microwave, and cook for three minutes on 1000 watts.
Cake will rise over top of mug--do not be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little; tip onto a plate if desired.
Eat!
(This can serve two if you want to feel slightly more virtuous.)
***And WHY is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only five minutes away from chocolate cake any time of the day or night!!!***

Haven't actually tried it yet--if any of you get to this before me, let me know.

Madeline Rose

I would like to introduce you to my niece. This is Madeline. At the time of this photo, she was about 4 hours old. My sweet sister was gracious enough to let me come visit yesterday afternoon. I had no idea that my heart would instantly fall in love with this precious girl. I can't wait to see what God has in store for her.

I'm SO SORRY

It has been over two months since I've posted. I'm officially a blogging loser! This is bad. Let's just say that I've been busy enough this summer that I really haven't had time to do any internet stuff. I've updated my facebook status a few times, but that takes only seconds and there is no pressure to spell-check. I haven't checked out the latest on YouTube or browsed for those long-lost high school friends who are bound to join a social networking site sooner or later. WHERE ARE YOU SUSAN NEILSON?

Lets take a moment to explore this. I KNOW Susan got married, but I have NO idea what her last name is now. This is the case with most of my friends from way back when. Since virtually all our communication is online, and I have either never met or only briefly met husbands, I don't know my friends' last names. I have two women in my contact list on my phone who are listed with their maiden names--NOT because they still use them, but rather because I don't know (or am unwilling to totally misspell) their new last names.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not some anti-leave-and-cleave feminist. I believe in taking your husbands name. But WHY don't MySpace and Facebook make it easy to include a maiden name in the personal info sections so people have an easier time searching for you.

That was not the direction I anticipated this going, but then I seldom write what I had anticipated. Hopefully you'll be hearing more from me soon.

Finally, Part III

Fast forward a few years. College was a whirlwind of school, work, and spending all my available free time with Jason. We married in 1999. I worked for Sylvan throughout and ended up as a director and loved it. Sylvan was everything I could have asked for in a career. So when I “hit the ceiling” in that job, I began to look at the option of buying a franchise for myself. As a young person with no money, that proved to be a challenge. We were not opposed to moving, but wanted to be in driving distance of our parents.

That process was the first major hurdle I ever had to face in life. In the course of a year we had a deal fall through, bought our first house, found another available business, began pursuing it, had to then sell our first house, move 3 hours away, find a new job for Jason, and somehow get financed for the acquisition of the business. God had shown me this course and certainly did not make it easy, but for every door that seemed to close he showed me a better way. For the first time I learned about the power of prayer in MY life. I learned how to cry (with real tears) out to the Lord for guidance and answers and poured through scripture for assurance. He was faithful.
Shortly after our move, I got pregnant. Praise God for his perfect timing because I never would have chosen three months into a new business as a good time to start having kids, but God knew better. Peter was our Christmas baby that year. God continued to bless our lives over the next couple years….Jason started his own company and Sylvan continued to grow. We were blessed with Grace in 2005. That fall I finally decided to get involved with people at church. We had been attending as Peter would allow since we moved and we were involved in a very small link group, but I hadn’t connected with anyone yet.

I started attending the women’s Bible Study in September and two weeks into it I was “kicked out” of the group I had joined and told to join the group with all the women who had young kids. I can say with confidence that day was a turning point in my life. I met women are now my closest friends and we studied the word together and put into practice the concept of iron sharpening iron.

That study and the ones that followed along with the fellowship with those women created an environment for me to get excited about a relationship with Christ again. Once I started to do that, though, things started getting tough again. Work is harder, marriage is harder. It’s as if God is asking me if I really trust him or not. Honestly…some days I do, some days I don’t. Through all this, God is changing my heart. When I see how much grace it takes for Him to love me, I know I can show some grace to others as well. Somewhere along the way I realized that “smoker” is not synonymous with “heathen.” With that all those other judgmental things that were so much a part of my thinking have fallen away as well. Not only are we forgiven when we accept Christ, but he forgives us when as Christians we still struggle with sin. It is forgiveness for all sin, not just the Christian-approved little sins, but also the major screw-up-your-life sort of sins. I believe God is hurt by our betrayals, but he doesn’t turn his back on his people. And if he doesn’t do that, neither should I.

That’s where I am at now. There is a lot of stuff that I’m going through, but I can wait to share it. I really appreciated a teaching by Beth Moore when she talked about waiting for the end of the story before publishing it. That makes a lot of sense. As small pieces of my story complete themselves, I’ll share. In the meantime, I am enjoying and clinging to the victories I’ve already experienced.

Confession

One more out-of-order post, then back to the series. I am a Must-See TV, Thursday night on NBC kind of girl. From the days of Seinfeld to Friends and now, of course, The Office plus all the one-season-wonders in between, NBC is where it's at.

A few years ago, though, people started talking about this other show--Grey's Anatomy. It started with my sister and then my friends. Usually it is said in a "don't tell that I watch this but I do and did you see it too?!?!?!" sort of way. I had been happy in my NBC ways and was perfectly willing to be the person who didn't watch Grey's. Well, I've been watching here and there. I've really only seen 3 full episodes (did you watch last night?), but I'm hooked. I'll admit it. Trash television at its best, and I'm right there watching. Fortunately since my friends watch, I know the basic plotline, so I don't feel like I have too much catching up to do.

There it is. Now you know the dirty truth. I still don't watch Desperate Housewives. Does that redeem me?

Back to the present....

OK, this is a departure from my recent series of blogs. I don't watch a lot of TV, but since we have DVR now, I can track a lot of shows that I had given up on. Anyway...GO DAVID COOK!!!! I am so glad he won. That sappy squinty-eyed 17-yr-old just wasn't cutting it for me.

And speaking of voting--I noticed an interesting stat in the paper this morning. The Mail Tribune listed the Oregon Primary Results. As a Republican, I abstained from voting. McCain virtually has the nomination and the other primaries were nominal enough that I was unwilling to take a stand for people who I didn't know. I am, however very interested in the democratic primary. What a year. Here is the stat that caught my eye--600,210 Democratic votes were reported in Oregon--Clinton received 248,137 of them. On the Republican side only 326,900 votes were cast. And despite the drastically reduced Republican turnout and Oregon's proclivity to vote for fringe people like Ron Paul, John McCain received 277,597 votes--29,460 more than Clinton.

I know, I know, you can manipulate staticstics to say just about anything, and you can explain away outcomes, but I still think it is curious. Back to American Idol--maybe the outspoken comments of the judges proclaiming "sappy and 17" the winner were really intended to inspire those of us who liked David Cook to get out the vote. I didn't vote in that one either.

My Story--pt 2

Sex and pot tended to be the culprits. (What a way to start an entry!) Lucky me, I usually got to hear it before anyone else. Throughout high school I had most of my closest friends (and some that were not so close) have the “Well, I finally did it” conversation with me. Even as I am writing this I pray that I responded appropriately to my friends’ confessions. At my core I despised the sin, but even then I knew that expressing that needed to be tempered with love. I don’t know if I did that well or not. Regardless, once those lines were crossed these friends consistently behaved as if there was no turning back.

I share this for a few reasons. First--to say that God’s hand was on my life, protecting me from those situations. I was so sheltered that when, last year, one of my students had (accidentally) left her baggie of green leaves behind, I had to get a co-worker to confirm that yes indeed it was what I thought it was. Second—because if I had sinned in a “major” way like that, I might have followed the paths of my friends and just walked away from God.

I felt—as my friends had—that there was no room in the church for Christian sinners. Pre-Christian sinners, of course, were welcome. I can’t tell you how this was communicated to us. There were certainly no sermons on the evils of smoking cigarettes or dancing. We were taught about the consequences—spiritual and emotional—of pre-marital sex, but there was seldom mention of redemption after the fact. I had a long conversation about this with my husband driving to Eugene a few weekends ago. We agreed that if we sat down with any of the staff members of the church, they would communicate exactly the appropriate steps and behaviors towards a “Christian sinner.” However I feel like the atmosphere of the church was not conducive to restoring a fellow believer to righteousness. The key word here is “feel.” Maybe if I had been the one to fall away, I would have a different outlook.

To be continued...(just 1 more part--hang on!)

My Story--part 1

Recently I promised an entry about going back to my home church. As I began to write, I realized that in order to avoid background tangents, I should share the history of my walk. My testimony. This might take a few separate entries, so bear with me.

I am what you might call a “Cradle Christian.” Simply put, I do not remember a time when I was unsaved. I do, however, distinctly remember a time when at 4 or 5 years old I was asked when I accepted Christ and I replied that I did it when I was 2.

My early church years were at a Missionary Alliance Church in Veneta, OR. I still know nothing about the theology of that church, just that I liked going and they were really good at missionary weeks. I still remember that you can tell the difference between an African elephant and an Asian elephant by how many toes they have.

At 9 years old we moved 30 minutes away to Eugene where my father worked. I transferred to Willamette Christian School (Assembly of God-affiliated). It was through my 5th grade oh-so-pentecostal teacher that I discovered the Holy Spirit’s role in my life and the joy of studying God’s word beyond just reading it for the nice stories.

We began attending First Baptist Church after we moved. I was baptized that year. At chuch, I got involved in everything I could—Awana, Camp Harlow, Student Leadership, even the handbell choir. The church was blessed with a large library and after Awana on Wednesday nights I would load up with Christian fiction (I loved Grace Livingston Hill) and generally have them read by Friday.

Church surrounded me with Godly people who mentored me in my Christian walk. I met my husband there (though at age 10 I wasn’t really looking for a life partner yet). I traveled on student missions trips to Mexico which I discovered minister more to the students going than to the people to whom we were supposed to minister. My closest friends in high school were friends from church. We studied and grew together. However, one by one, they fell away….to be continued.

Focus

Have you ever experienced those times in some sort of setting where you know you should be paying attention, but you keep catching your mind wandering to other things. Some people get this all the time, however I had not really experienced it until I started going through the stresses of the past 6 months or so. In Bible Study or church when I know good and well God has something for me, my mind just takes a detour! Sometimes it moves to the issues that have plagued my week, sometimes it is about the loose hair clinging to the jacket of the woman in front of me.

This provided an opportunity (again) for some divine guidance. I still haven't shared the first two times. One is fairly personal in regards to my marriage--which I have no problem sharing but my dh is not a fan of airing the details of our marriage publically. The 2nd was more related to this topic, so I'll do a nice combo for y'all.

About three weeks ago, sitting in Bible Study--we are doing a Beth Moore series--I was watching (but not actually watching) the video portion. I was in la-la-land. I had no concept of what she was saying. For those of you who have done Beth Moore studies in the past, you know how strange that is. That woman is amazing! But I digress...

So as I am starting to realize I am not focused, but doing nothing about it THE VOICE came again. "Melinda, ask me to help you focus." You know, I've been prompted by the Holy Spirit many times before, but this whole first person thing is definitely getting my attention. So I bowed, blocked everything out and asked God to grab my attention. Wouldn't you know it, not five minutes later in the video Beth said something along the lines of "If you haven't been paying attention, you better start now." And she proceeded to speak the verses that met me just where I was at that morning.

The issues with focus haven't gotten better, but God has been faithful to remind me to ask him for what I need. This morning we were in Eugene at my home church and during WORSHIP, I was off again. I was singing the words, but there was no thought involved. God stopped me and got me back on track. Praise God.

I've been remiss in blogging of late, so I am committing now to blogging soon about visiting my home church. Stay tuned.

God Speaks

Let me apologize for not writing earlier. Life happens and I lose track of everything. But I just wanted to share something cool that hasn't happened to me before. God spoke to me. Twice, actually. Not in a inspiriational Bible passage, not a Sunday morning special, no gentle inner nudge from the Holy Spirit, nor through a friend. It wasn't out loud, but beyond a shadow of a doubt he spoke words to my mind's ear. It was as if I was replaying what I had previously heard out loud in my head.

What he actually told me will take a lot more back story than I have time to do right now, but I just thought I would share. I will say this--while both times were important and timely, they were neither crisis moments nor times when I was pleading for answers. They were just when HE knew I needed something.

Hopefully this is only the beginning.

This week's verse

Philippians 4:6
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Yesterday's Bible Study was fantastic. I need to go back and restudy before I can write about it though. Also, because we had a beach Saturday we missed Ron's sermon which Jennifer(thank you by the way) said went right along with the study. I'm about half-way through that. I can't wait to put it all together. I am starting to feel encouraged and hopeful instead of just desperate!

What color is it?

Continuing saga of my home repairs...

This weekend, I bought new mirrors for our upstairs bathroom--as of yet untouched. It is pink...tile, walls, cabinets, ceiling, countertop. Only the tub and toilet escaped. These particular mirrors are going to be great, but you can't easily take them down again after mounting. So, I decided to paint. I used the paint I had bought before for our bedroom, but changed my mind about. It is NOT even CLOSE to the color I thought it was. My intent was to get a silvery gray with brown undertones. It's not. I'm not really sure what color it is. Gray-lavender-blue-pink-mauve? Is that a color? Because there is still so much pink in the room, that might be casting color that isn't really there. This pic is more purple than reality, but now I have to do the white to know for sure. ARGH. Of course, I am blogging about it instead of actually painting because I don't like painting ceilings or trim. OK, here I go.

In all things....God.

Last fall I started laying claim to verses. When I face adversity my mind starts to whir at a million miles an hour, so quiet time with God quickly became strategic planning sessions. I start with the intention of laying everything before Him and all of a sudden I'm off on my own process. As these trials became more frequent I found that I needed a better way to focus on the Lord. I decided to pick a verse with a promise that seemed to apply to where I was at right then and just read it, recite it, mantra-fy it.

I am in another valley right now and yesterday was an especially difficult day. Because I was at my computer I decided to Google "verses that remind of God's faithfullness." I came across this blog--not a Bible commentary site, not anything but a woman like you or me in a tough spot needing a reminder of God's faithfulness. Hmmmm.

Romans 8:28 was the verse she was clinging to and it made perfect sense for me as well. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Immediately I started feeling that peace that God is faithful to provide. Things may work out, they may not, but He is working through them...despite them....for my good. I can handle that. Later in the same chapter is another favorite--v. 38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

When I was in the high school group at my home church there was this girl Liz who taught us a tune to go with those two verses (which are NASB, by the way). I've never heard it anywhere else, so I don't know if she wrote it or if it was recorded somewhere, but I love it. Because of the music I can focus on the words--nothing, NOTHING in ALL creation can separate us from God's love. Thank you Lord!

The Big City

Fantastic Weekend! The drive up was quick. We hit a fantastic place called Uptown Billiards on Friday night. They have an amazing “happy hour” menu—5 courses of perfect food for $10…for $20 you get a different wine served with each course. The service was amazing. Put it on your must-visit list for next time you go to Portland.

The rest of the weekend was just as great. It was amazing shopping, more really good food, and wonderful company. I was so glad to have some girl time with my friend—I can’t imagine having gone with anyone else. We made Sunday as relaxing as possible and even stopped off in Eugene to visit my parents and be able to break the drive up over two days.

I’ve never lived in Portland…and I don’t think I would want to. Traffic, high prices and crowds make it a much more pleasant place to visit than to live. However, I wish I lived closer.

I'm leaving town!

Tomorrow I am headed north to Portland for a weekend away. My girlfriend and I have been trying to make this happen since we were there for the Revolve Tour last fall. At the time we were with about a gob-trillion high-school girls, this time it will just be us.

I haven't really travelled with friends just for fun trips. In 2000 my sister and I went to Victoria BC for a weekend. Jason and I have gone to the coast once or twice and then there are the weekends we go away for his races. Last summer I drove to Seattle to visit a friend for a few days. Also, I travel a decent amount for work. Those trips are with coworkers (employees) who are my friends, but there is always that "I'm the boss, you're not" undertone to our relationships. It doesn't mean we don't have fun though.... All that to say, I'm really excited to get away with no purpose in mind other than fun and relaxation.

Mommy & Me---FYI

This is our newest thing at work....what do you think?

Sylvan Learning Center is happy to introduce--

Mommy and Me

· Experienced Early Childhood Educators
· Story time using Sylvan’s Early Reading Program
· Calendar time introducing Sylvan’s Math Essentials Program
· Creative time for art and sensory development
· Fun stories and activities enhance weekly themes
· 6 week session for $60.00
· For children 18 months to Pre-K

Get a head start on your early learner’s education. Sylvan Learning in Medford is now offering Mommy and Me classes for families and their children ages 18 months to Pre-K. Experienced Early Childhood teachers will transform Sylvan’s math and reading programs into fun-filled classes where children can participate in age-appropriate activities. Each class will follow a similar format to create a structured early-learning environment. New weekly themes, music and movement activities, story time, and art projects ensure that an exciting time is had by all!

Classes are offered Tuesdays or Thursdays from 10:00am-11:00am
Tuesday Sessions: March 4, 11, 18, April 1, 8 and 15
Thursday Sessions: March 6, 13, 20, April 3, 10 and 17

The fun and learning begin March 4th; sign up now, space is limited.
Call Sylvan Learning today: 779-0503
724 S. Central, Suite 115

3 reasons...hmmm

So this evening I got this from a dear friend...
Good evening girls,
I need your help ... please reply to this email with three good reasons why I should start blogging!
I am struggling to commit and would love your encouragement. **** and I just can't take the exclusion from that special club ... T**** - you're next!
Thanks friends,
****
**** indicate depersonalizations... not flagrant vulgarity

So here goes. I really can't tell you why you should blog, I can only tell you why I do it.
Reason #1--Writing practice.
I am now a "published" writer. Me! The girl who almost cried when the GTF tore apart her Writing 120-something research paper. Writing is a skill I would like to improve and this is a good place to practice.
Reason #2--You get to know me.
If you are my friend, you know just how quiet I am--even among friends. When I blog I am telling the stories friends share with each other, but I usually don't. Either you can't hear me or because I know you can't hear me, I just sit back and let other people share their stories.
Reason #3--Record Keeping
I like to scrapbook...my kids lives. I want to remember those details. But in those books you will seldom find me in pictures or stories or otherwise. I used to have a perfect memory. I could tell you first, middle, and last names in chronological order of the guys my FRIENDS dated. Now I am starting to struggle to recall what we did last weekend. The simple act of putting these random events or emotions of life in print (or online if you will) locks them into my memory so someday I will be able to tell the same story over and over like our parents and grandparents do now.

One really good reason not to blog--your friends. "So, are you going to write again. Each time I check it is still the garage door story." Decide up front if you are going to let this be something that makes you feel guilty for neglecting. I don't. I can't. I don't have time for that.

Good luck with your decision. We'd love to have you.

Man Rules

I found this while searching for blogs written by men. My husband is liking the concept of reading blogs but finds the ones linked from my site entirely too female…not yours Steve. These are not original, or I would just link the blog I found it on. I’m sure they made the e-mail rounds among men, but not being a man, I hadn’t seen it. Also as I try to make this a family site, you’ll notice some *’s noting replaced or eliminated words. Feel free pass it on to your husband, but being male, he has probably already seen it.

Man Laws
Read 'em all or you show no intestinal fortitude and in fact are a woman.

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat".

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are cornered by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BS*. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. Complaining* about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up * * with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal's significant other*--- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by * supermodel... and it's free.

21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good *-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:"Yeah, baby, push it!""C'mon, give me one more! Harder!""Another set and we can hit the showers.""Nice backside*, are you a Sagittarius?"

25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

26. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding * pending your response.

28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

29. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him... too gay.

30. All men are required to re-post this bulletin so their buddy's have no excuse for not knowing what is and is not acceptable.

Ants

Spring has sprung...kind of. I know last night threatened to freeze and I am sitting here with a mini-heater blowing on my feet, but this is Oregon. Spring is here. With that lovely change of seasons, inevitably come the ants. I know there are products that work really well--my personal fave is Terro. However, you have to put it everywhere. And, while the concept of the traps is much preferable to putting little drops on cardboard squares, the stuff in the traps is really sticky and it dries hard, so if it spills...good luck.

I keep a relatively clean house. I am sitting in my upstairs office and the little critters are roaming amidst my papers. Yuck! What are they looking for? And they stink. If you crush one of them, make sure you use something between your hand and that little creature. That smell will stay on you. Every time your hand comes near your nose, whew!

I have two ant infestation stories which IN HINDSIGHT are mildly amusing. The first happened when my friend Kendall and I were living in West Eugene. West Eugene is a swamp. And the house was older and not really sealed to the elements. We had ants like crazy. We couldn't leave ANYTHING out. By mid-summer, we felt that we had pretty much gotten the problem under control but, well, if it had been under control I wouldn't be telling you this story.

I had swept the kitchen and went to grab the dustbuster (one of my favorite inventions--maybe someday I'll blog about that). I walked into the kitchen with it, turned it on and...ants. Everywhere. They came running (can ants run?) out of that machine. I'll admit it--I screamed. I used the broom to hook the handle and carry the thing out to the back patio where I turned the hose on myself to wash off the creepy critters. That particular dustbuster was never again used.

I said I had two stories, but I've killed over 10 ants since I've been here typing and even though I used paper, I can smell it. Instead of sharing my second story I'm going to go get the Terro and maybe the Raid and deal with this mess.

Updates

You’re Fired—In the weeks since that employee was let go, my decision has been affirmed. I have uncovered several fountains of poison that had been spread by him not least of which was discussing with a client the unreasonable expectations I had for him. Lovely. My primary concern was that the other employees would not feel threatened or put off by my choice to let someone go because of poor performance. That has not happened. Despite business still lagging, the atmosphere has been much improved after his departure. Everyone is pulling together with a can-do attitude.

Garage Door—The freezer and some of the cabinets have been moved. I can pull into the garage far enough to close the door behind me and I can get out of the driver’s side. If I have to take anyone on the passenger side, however, I still have to back out first. We have more cabinetry that can move, but it will be a big project…very easy to procrastinate.

My Dog Died

This is old news, but it needs to be written. I am a cat person. Not a "crazy cat lady," I just prefer cats. Shortly after Jason and I got married we got a puppy. Jason is a dog person and he bonded with this dog. The next year we were driving back from the coast and for "fun" stopped by the Humane Society just to look. There was a dalmation there who I fell in love with. She was on the small side for a dalmation, but very pretty and very sweet. When you rubbed her ears she would groan in ecstasy. We decided against adopting her, but the next day when I got home from work, Jason surprised me with her. Kishka, like every dog, had some issues, but she was mine.

Over the past 2 years, Kishka started losing a weight. She didn't eat less, in fact she ate more. She just dropped all the fat from her body. She also started to lose vision and hearing. She did not seem to be in pain, but was often disoriented or confused. We took her to the vet a year ago and though tests were done, no cause was discovered. In December I took her back and they ran more tests. It was determined that she most likely had a brain tumor. While I felt quite close to this dog, I could not mortgage my home for canine cancer treatment. So on December 21, I had Kishka put to sleep. Jason offered to take her out and shoot her, but I decided to be a big girl and take care of it myself. That and I didn't want to know that my husband shot my dog.

I cried. But less than I expected. I realized that with her, the grieving process had begun long ago. She had become withdrawn. She was not eager to seek out affection nor to bestow it. She had ceased becoming the dog I loved and was just another creature in our household. So, while the event was sad, it did not affect me in the way I expected. I dreaded telling the kids about the her, but she had been so uninvolved in our lives that it was hardly a blip on their screen.

I'm not going anywhere with this, don't expect a tie it all together statement like "I hope I never become so uninvolved in people's lives that I am not missed" or "Isn't grief strange how it appears differently based on the sequence of events." I just thought I'd share a bit about my dog.

Garage Door Opener

We live in a house that was built in 1946 and while many things have been updated through the years, no one ever installed a garage door opener. We bought the house last spring and a nice selling point was the barn out back...meaning the garage could be used for its intended purpose.

My husband was kind enough to purchase a garage door opener for me for Mother's Day. He got it unpacked and there it stayed. In August in (be prepared for some honesty here) a fit of guilt-inducement, I spent the better part of a day assembling it. And there it stayed. Well, on Monday morning my husband said he was going to attempt to finish the installation. He did it! He did have to cut into the ceiling/floor of the attic to make room for the entire apparatus, but it works. Thank you honey.

Well, kind of. We can pull in the garage, but we can't open the doors to get out of the car. We can move some built in cabinetry to make space, but that might take a few more months.

You're Fired

I hate hate hate hate hate this part of my job. I am usually very picky about who I hire, because I don't ever want to get to the point where I have to fire. Today, however, I did.

I've worked in management of either someone else's business or my own for 8 years. I've only had to fire 5 people. My favorite was Mr. X (names changed to protect my backside). When he arrived at work on that fateful day I asked him to come in my office for a moment. He said (before even coming in) "Am I fired?" I said yes handed him his check and he walked out.

The worst was a woman about 2 years ago....Ms. B. She cried, begged, yelled, everything you dread when you go in for a conversation like that. About a week later she sent a scathing letter to me about how I was the worst boss ever...totally unreasonable in my expectations of her. Since she stormed out, she eventually had to come back for her stuff. It was mostly kitchy junk, but she felt she needed it. She barely spoke a word. Walked in with a box, packed it up, and walked out. The only exchange was her asking if I had found a replacement yet. I had hired a fresh-out-of-college energetic young woman (more or less the opposite of the original) who was right next to me at the time, so I introduced them. That's when she left.

Today's experience was better than expected. It went as well as it could have and I think we both left the conversation looking forward to our respective futures. God has been faithful to me and to my business. His hand has been apparent every step of the way. However in situations like this, I am always fearful of the testimony I present. I am taking away someone's livlihood. More on this soon....but I need to see how the next few days play out in order to know.

This is not a joke!

I am on the computer all the time. Generally I am immune to banner ads, but this one caught my eye. This could be a SNL commercial, but it's real! Worse...if I had an indoor cat...I could see myself buying it.

To upload a profile picture....

I am not photogenic. Not one teensy bit. This isn't even just my id talking, this is truth. I cannot look like myself in a photo. Fake smile, fake head-holding, fake stance. Well a few months back I was teaching my son how to use the camera and he managed to take a decent picture...of me. Not just me, but me while not posing...fakely....next to a snot-dripping child. This was an enormous accomplishment. So I now have a picture for these web pages where there is a place to put YOUR PROFILE PICTURE. So, I posted it on Facebook, my seldom visited, not really sure why I even have a profile there, trial run. No negative comments, similar posts from old friends. OK, good. Next came MySpace. Amazing, positive feedback on the photo. Even a "you're so beautiful" from an emotive former employee. That's good. Then I got this comment from my age 14-16 best friend--

You sat down to take a 'grown up' picture to share with your friends. A 'just Melinda' picture, if you will. But somehow ... sooooooomehow, a baby hand snuck into the frame. :) A sign of a good mom is that her babies are never far from her side. You look beautiful, Melinda!

Yes, there it is on the right. My daughter's hand with a little pink teddy bear. Oh well. I still like the picture.

Support my friend.

So my friend Becky is pursuing turning her photography hobby into a career. She just created a web page where you can view and purchase her art. You can also check her work out here. She has a good eye for nature and has managed to create "inspirational" art that people from our generation would be happy to display in their homes. This one is my favorite. So good luck Becky. Our prayers are with you in your new venture.

Sleeping With Men

Let me just start by clarifying that I am actually talking about sleeping, or rather not being able to sleep. While I have fairly narrow personal experience (read one(1)) with men, my informal polling (read chatting with my friends) has revealed that when a woman can't sleep, her man has no pity.

It doesn't matter if I am sick, stressed, too hot, too cold, too whatever...he just isn't going to interrupt his sleep to commiserate with me. The attitude is "why should my perfectly cozy, Serta-inspired evening be interrupted just because you can't sleep?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting full 100% alertness, just some concern.

By no means am I the newest reincarnation of June Cleaver, but when roles are reversed, I feel that I, and women in general, are more considerate. We will make the offer to get something to drink, another blanket, cough medicine--whatever is needed. So please honey, next time I am tossing and turning at 2am, recognize it as an opportunity to surprise me with your reaction.